Little sister's driving my whole yard crazy!

[Loociiee]

My little sister Phoebe ride up my yard she is very good and she's only eleven, she's been riding since she was about five up there and our instructor is an amazing teacher. I mean she's never been a very confident rider seeing as she's seen me with my old pony Melissa and what she used to do to me (she used to dump me almost every lesson and even when I got better she was always a bit wild) the summer before I sold her I made Phoebe ride her like everyday and they got on quite well and her confidence went up soo much but then one day she spooked phoebe didn't fall off and didn't even look unseated but she was terrified and would only ride her if I went next to her after that!

Now Kay has been asking her to ride some younger ponies and some of the new ones, now she rides a four year old new forest who she absolutely adores and he's not easy but she gets soo nervous and panicy when Kay asks her to ride a new one even if she knows they won't do anything. Also if Kay asks her to jump when she's nervous she actually pulls up and shakes her head or pulls the pony out now when I was her age I was far more scared of Kay than I was of the jump.

I always tell her she's good enough to ride these ponies and that if she can ride a four year old she can surely handle most things to be fair he is an exceptional four year old but still. The whole yard is finding this annoying especially the girls in her group as they would love to be able to ride the new ones first and probably get really annoyed when she complains about it I mean I would. I'm getting worried that Kay won't let her ride the new ones or younger ones if she keeps acting this way! What am I s'posed to do she's good and needs to be rewarded for it but she'll never get better if she never rides challenging horses or horses she isn't used to.

I don't know where she gets it from I get so excited when someone offers me to ride a horse I've never ridden before but she always assumes the worst and thinks they'll be wild ahh it's even gotten on my mates nerves!

thanks for reading what do you think I should do?

[My Crazy Clan]

I would help her, don't get mad, I'm sure she will be feeling your vibes. Confidence doesn't happen over night, take her out on hacks etc, I think she will come round in the end but in her own time, maybe she need to stick to one horse for now without feeling pressured.

[Loony]

Maybe its best she doesn't ride the new and young horses if she has barely any confidence on them.. it's a bit like throwing her in at the deep end, it'll do nothing but scare her. She needs to build her confidence up slowly, I think some lessons on a safe, older horse would be more beneficial.

[My Crazy Clan]

Maybe its best she doesn't ride the new and young horses if she has barely any confidence on them.. it's a bit like throwing her in at the deep end, it'll do nothing but scare her. She needs to build her confidence up slowly, I think some lessons on a safe, older horse would be more beneficial.

You put it better then I ever could:lol:

[flambards]

Agree with the others. Sounds a lot like me when I was younger - I had my confidence wrecked when I was quite young, eventually found "my" horse in the riding school, and did not want to go near anything else at all. I'd often end up in tears when asked to ride a new horse, even though the horse I loved was far from an old plod.

It just took time and slowly coaxing myself out of it with the help of my friends and my younger sister. I spent about 18 months with that horse, and by the end when I was told I really had outgrown him in skill level and needed to move on, I was ready to do it and managed without a massive breakdown.

[Jill]

Hey, she's only eleven! Maybe she is capable of riding some of these ponies, but at that age it would be so easy to be put off and not try again for years - I would just let her ride the ones she's happy with. I think Kay is probably asking a bit too much of her, even if she is sure Phoebe can do it - nothing is guaranteed to put her off as much as pressuring her will (which applies to all of us).
And if she does come off one of the younger ones it will just reinforce her own fears and make things worse. I'd let her proceed at her own pace, lots of kids haven't even sat on a horse at her age and still become excellent riders, so she won't be missing out.

[Storm]

I used to see this a lot when I taught at an RS - the 6 and 7 year olds would by like kamikaze pilots on small ponies bombing along, pinging over fences and being propelled through the air like speeding bullets, straight into the school kicking boards, or a nettle patch - either way they didn't mind, just jumped back on whilst parents were being resuscitated in the spectators gallery...

The as they get into double figures (age not falls) they become aware of their own mortality, and that if something goes wrong it's going to hurt and they back off, taking huge steps back in their riding - allowing their parents to recover a few grey hairs...

The only thing to do is take her back a few steps and let that confidence come back - it's not easy if she's never really been a confident rider but it will come...

I used to get the ones like her to start jumping off in walk, sometimes they landed on their feet, sometimes the 'fell' but it was a safe controlled 'fall' that didn't hurt...

That's my two penneth worth anyway...

[lil_legs]

I agree with Storm here. Just because ability wise she is capable of riding these ponies, when it comes to mentally, she has this block.

I went through this phase, i knew i was capable of riding these ponies, but one of them got me off and that put me back confidence wise for ages.

Then people kept on and on at me about riding these ponies, and this just made the situation worse. I kept getting told i wouldn't be allowed to ride these ponies unless i was capable, which might have been true but it didn't help being told that.

I ended up sticking to what i knew and what i was comfortable on.

Then i would ride new ones after others had ridden them, and i had seen them being ridden, so i knew they had behaved and that the "edge" had been taken off them, and i cooled them off. Then i built it up so i ended up riding the ones that i knew behaved themselves.

Now i'll get on anything again, stupidly so as my OH would tell me.

He thinks i'm crackers because i threw myself off Billy for Charlotte to see how he would react to someone falling off him lol!!

Just give her time and help her out, if anyone tries to force her to ride something she doesn't want to, then you are more likely to put her off completely.

[Loociiee]

Yeah I'm just sick of her answering back and saying she's rubbish and that she's not as good as the others I mean she is very good.
Yeah I think Kay has just realised that as she is now putting other people on the new ones and keeping phoebe on her favourite
thanks guys
x x x