Star's last couple of weeks.

[Starsky]

Devastated.
Spoke to the vet today, the one who knows her very well, and told him all whats been going on and how she's been and her behaviour and stuff, a lot of ins and outs and really in depth about her.
He said, even without seeing her he is 99% sure they are tumours for various reasons. He said to put her on a course of bute like we said we would and see if it picks her up and then ring him in a weeks time or so and have a chat about her with him. He said we have given her as much love, care and attention as we could have and we just need to make her as happy and comfortable as possible as she will be in quite a bit of pain as all the lumps are where a big part of her muscle is so it will really quite ache and hurt which explains the not wanting to walk much.
So basically after she has perked up on these we are going to decide when we want to end it, we want her to go happy but i refuse to ride her when she is full of painkillers, thats just not the way ... she will have a last couple of weeks on bute and then we will decide when, she will eat as much nice things as she wants, be pampered and well cared for and most of all loved until the very end.
I have never ever ever cried as much as i have through this whole thing, it has been an emotional rollacoaster and i am so so so gutted it is coming to an end in the way it is doing, i dont know what i will do without her, she is my absolute everything and i cannot express how depressed i am feeling at the moment, im so sorry, i've probably missed so much out and not made much sense but im sure you have the jist, i just feel horrible, i cant believe as much as i thought i was prepared, im really really not.

[HannahAndSydney]

Oh hun, I don't know what to say! I'm so sorry :( I know nothing I can say will make this any easier but you need to remember that you have done absolutely everything you could to have made her as happy and comfortable as you could throughout this whole thing and that you did wonders with her, even before all of this horrible stuff. You have been so brave and selfless through it all and I really admire you. I'm so sorry, you know where I am if you need to talk, you know where we all are. *massive hugs* xxxx

[beks the artist]

I am so sorry. This has been never ending torture for you with your emotions. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Hope all goes for the best and Star has a happy ouple of weeks before going to Rainbow Bridge xx

[mad horse 3]

I've said all I can say on msn... but you know what I think, and I think everyone else thinks exactly the same.

Your are being so strong.. if you want to talk to you know where I am xxxxx

[lilholley]

Oh Sarah I am so so sorry. I just read your other post and had a feeling that maybe this time had come. From the title I did open this post hoping to see pictures of what Star had been up to over the past few weeks. :(:(
We've talked before and I know its not easy but you are being so brave for her. Like you say, let her have a few weeks of happiness and love away from the pain and then let her go.
I cannot explain how much I admire and respect you for sticking with Star and her owner through this. You give loaners an extremely good name.
If you want to chat about anything or you have any more questions about what we talked about before then please just PM me.
Huge hugs xxxxxxx

[Lucy B]

Sarah, i'm so so sorry for you and Star, it's awful what you are both having to go through. You have been there for her everystep of the way and she couldn't of wished for a more loving and caring owner. I know you will give her the most respectful and dignified send off, it's just such a shame. Thinking of you x

[ness]

You are being so brave and grown up, Sarah-I am really impressed. I am sure that Star knows her mummy loves her very much and I know you will do your very best to make her last days as happy as possible. Lots of love and hugs form Ness and Kissiexx

[Cinders]

I'm devastated for you sarah, it's such a sad and unfair end to such a lovely horse :(

You've been absolutely brilliant with her and have acted so grown up throughout the whole thing, star's very lucky to have you. I don't think there's anything i can say to make you feel better, hope the rest of your time together is a good as it possibly can be. So sorry hun *hugs*, if you ever need someone to talk to you know where i am xxxx

[Starsky]

Thank you all for your lovely messages but i just dont know what to say other than thank you,, i am speachless about the whole thing and i dont know how i am going to cope without her in my life x

[Welly]

Hugs coming to you..
You're doing the right thing for Star and in time you'll come to not only know this for certain - but also to accept that..

I've also PM'd you.. Huge hugs xxx

[bimba]

Sarah I'm so sorry, I don't know how you must be feeling. Enjoy your time with Star, I'm sure she knows just how much you love her xxx

[Anni~Bell]

Sarah i really don't know what to say! =(
All I can offer is HUGE HUGS your way!!!!

[Charli]

I am really really sorry x

[XenaWarriorPrincess]

Oh god Sarah, i really dont know what to say. Im so sorry *huge hugs*
You know where i am if you ever want to talk.
Thinking of you.
xx

[Starsky]

I can only thank you for all the support you are showing/giving, i really haven't got anything about the stuation to say because my mind is such a mess at the moment, i never knew i had so many tears x

[Horse Mad Mum]

aww Sarah I dont know what else to say other than how i think how fantastic your are with her, she has been so so lucky to have you in her life, I think you have made a very brave and right decision, thinking of you huge hugs HMM XXXXXXXX

[CDR]

I'm so so sorry to hear that. I'd do exactly the same and give lots of treats and cuddles (not too many treats though or she'll end up with a sore tummy too). Hope you manage to enjoy your remaining time with her. xx

[Susan]

Oh Sarah.

I saw the line you had on your facebook status and it reminded me of this e.e. cummings poem. I thought you might get some comfort for it. Its obviously written about a person not a horse, but it is the same kind of sentiment that you have posted on FB. I hope you like it.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

[Starsky]

I have woke up this morning feeling completely numb, i knew what it ment yesterday but this morning it was if it really hit me, im just completely devastated :'(

[Smoke on the Water]

Aw sweetheart that did bring a tear to my eye. I'm so sorry. You really are being amazing. You know I'm only round the corner. If you ever want to come visit me and Harvey to try and take your mind of things for a bit you'd be more than welcome.

[Sasca]

Im so sorry, there's nothing i can say that will help in anyway but im thinking of you (as we all are) and if there is anything you want, me or someone on here will jump to it at the drop of a hat...

[My Crazy Clan]

Really really sorry for you both, shes a cracking girl, wish you all the best.

[coloredred]

I'm so sorry to hear this Sarah, we all know how much you love Star and i'm sure she knows it to. Just remember that you're doing the right thing for her and you'll have a chance to say goodbye. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you xxx

[Starsky]

thank you everyone. I'm hoping to keep her on the bute for a week or so and then say goodbye as it's going to come eventually, and going to her every night knowing that is killing me, last night i burst into tears as soon as i saw her and i cant carry that on much longer because as much as it's good that she doesnt have a clue, i feel awful because she thinks shes fine now because she's had the bute.
Thank you again, it's just so, so awful xx

[Poppy and Harmony]

I'm so sorry to hear this Sarah. I'm sure Star knows that shes loved So, so much and that you will make the right decisions

*massive hugs*

[Loony]

I'm so sorry to hear this Sarah, I know how much you've gone through with her, it would've been amazing to have had a happy ending. You're absolutely doing the best thing for her, and she'll know that too. xx

[cackleberry]

Oh hun. I know exactly what you are going through and it is so tough. You are very brave and are making the right the decision.
Lots of hugs.

[Evening Star]

Oh Sarah i'm so so sorry. This is just not fair, you and Star don't deserve this. Star will always be with you and you have so many good memories to hold on to. I think you and her owner are being so brave making this decision as you could go the surgery route again but thats not the best for Star and it is so hard to keep that in mind when all you want is to keep her with you forever.

*squishies*
xx

[Ahrena]

-hugs-
I'm so sorry

[Chestnut]

Oh ******* hell! Just the post I DIDN'T want to have to read. I've followed you and Star on your journey together, seen you forge a bond and grow in confidence, seen you finally find your perfect horse after loans that have gone wrong. And after all you've been through you get dealt this blow and it totally sucks! My heart hurts for you Sarah, and for Star's owner. I can't imagine how you feel. HUGE hugs, you've been so brave and mature about this whole situation and I think you're a tremendous inspiration. Chin up girl, we're all just a PM away. xxx

[black crow]

You know my thoughts on this, and you know ill always be here

BIG hugs to you both xxx

[Maria]

Oh no, I've come on here because I saw your FB status... I'm in tears reading this, I can only imagine what you're going through. I am so sorry but you are giving Star so much love, care and attention, and doing your very best for her.

[Starsky]

once again i thank all fo you for the lovely replies, but i don't know what else to say, apart from how gutted i am but thankful for all your support x

[Maria]

:( You don't have to say anything. Even I find it hard to say anything because just thinking about losing one of mine is awful, and I've never had to go through losing a horse before so I can't even imagine how you must feel. You are doing really well. xx

[Kelza]

I'm really sorry to hear of your sad news. Your being so brave for her. Give her a big kiss and cuddle from me xxxx

[clippi]

I'm so sorry
((hugs))
You have been so strong for Star throughout this

[Fruddy]

I'm so sorry Sarah. I too don't know what to say, because it all sounds hollow when you are going through so much pain right now.

Try and keep your chin up, sweetie and just remember all the love care and devotion that you gave to Star, plus the fact that she loves you very very much.

Love
Rach
x:sad-no:

[Starsky]

thanks guys x

[chescar]

Sarah - there is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better - I wish there was.

Thinking of you - x

[Bay Chaos]

So so sorry that it has come to this

Sending massive hugs from me, Bridie, Dina and Champ xxxx

[Jan]

Sarah Im so sorry I have missed loads on EW recently due to work etc, I am so so sorry to hear about Star, I cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling, I have watched you two grow together over the last year or so and seen an amazing bond between you.

Sending all my love and thoughts to help you through the next few weeks its going to be so hard for you but we will all be here for you.

((HUGE HUGS)) XX

[Bek B]

So sorry :(

[Nat]

So sorry to hear this, I know how awful it is as I have been through something similar when I had to make a decision about my old pony. As awful as you feel now and as much as you think you wont be able to get through it I promise you that you will get through it and you will look back on this time and realise just what a fantastic mum you were to Star to put her welfare before your own feelings. Hugs xxx

[Osci]

So sorry to hear this Sarah. I've also been through this with my old pony & its never easy but you are being incredibly brave making that decision to set her free of the pain. Thinking of you both xx

[Smurf]

So Sorry ((((Hugs))))) x x x

[gem]

I so wish I could do or say something that would make it easier for you both hun. You're in my thoughts and have been throughout this ordeal. You've been an absolute rock for her, she couldn't have asked for a better mum. Massive hugs xxx

[Spockky boy]

Everything I could say has been said already.

Stay strong Sarah x

[beenie]

im so sorry to hear this, it must be really hard for you but you are doing everything right and you are a fantastic owner, its a shame there isnt more like you around!! Give Star a huge hug and you take care xxxx

[Ninfapaola]

((((((HUGS))))))) to you both xx

Thinking of you xx

[daytona]

So sorry its come to this.

Big hugs from me.

You have been so strong.
xxx

[Starsky]

We have decided to wait till the end of october and reassess her .... now she is on bute she is so so happy and i couldnt possibly stop her from being that happy. So we will see how she goes x