Constructive Crit on Advert Please

[MyLuckyStar]

Long term sharer or full loaner wanted for kind, handsome 15 year old 16.1 tb x gelding for hacking, schooling and some jumping. Doesnt load so no competing unfortunately.

May suit happy hacker or someone wanting to hack and school.

Hacks out alone and in company in any traffic. Suitable for novice and experienced riders. Bombproof in traffic. Has been hacked out on the roads by a 9 year old novice off the lead rein.

Looking for someone to ride 2-3 time a week , or full loan him.

Based in Wythall, West Midlands - MUST stay at current yard. Yard facilities inc school, jumping field and hacking.

Financial contrinbution required of £** per week. Currently on DIY livery but full livery is available @ £** per week. Contribution covers livery, bedding, hay, feed, shoes and insurance.

[Navygirl]

Maybe I am being picky but what do you mean by "some jumping"? Is that maximum of once a week? Twice a week? Can pop the odd fence or do a course?

Apart from that the advert would certainly be catching my eye!

[bimba]

When you say ride do they simply have to ride or do they have to muck out, bring in etc. you might just need to be a bit clearer about what is expected of them. Do you have any age range in mind or would you consider anyone if they were right? Just thinking when you say long term you might prefer someone a bit older so they've done with uni etc. Does the yard run any small shows? Is it a friendly yard? Rather than put 'May suit' I'd put 'Would suit happy hacker or someone wanting to do a bit more schooling'.

[MyLuckyStar]

I don't mind about their age, he is suitable for most people. They would need to do all yard duties on their days. The yard sometimes has shows once a month through summer that he could go to. Its a friendly yard most of the time - same as some yards!!

[My Crazy Clan]

Sounds okay to me.

[Genie 1975]

Hi Lucky Star
I am looking for horse to share in this sort of area (I live in Birmingham) and could be interested - do you want to PM me with more details of what days, cost etc
Thanks

[Mobell]

Presume vets bills will be coverd by you but worth mentioning just to be clear.

[mandy5775]

I think your ad sounds fine - shame you arn't closer to me as I would be very interested. You can iron out more details in your written loan agreement when the time comes.