View Full Version : wahhhhhh!! why cant i do it?! confidence issues!!
8th October 2009, 10:14 AM
:mad: :mad: :mad:
im SO angry at myself!
as you know iv been starting to ride millie, and two weeks ago she bronked and i fell off. she had all 4 feet off the floor... little moo.
well now i just keep thinking shes going to explode when i ride her, i can just about walk her - but really cant pluck up th courage to trot!! :sad-no:
i feel like such a failure ... she needs to do more than what im doing with her but i cant get myself upto trotting.... !!
i think if i had a brave person ride her and trotted her and i saw she was fine i think id be ok, but i have nobody to help me,
will i get out of this or am i going to be stuck walking forever?!?!
anybody near me who wants to have a ride??
8th October 2009, 10:35 AM
Have you got anyone that could lunge you on her? That might help as then you arent the only one in control!
8th October 2009, 10:48 AM
For a start, dont be angry at yourself!!!
You are not a faliure, its perfectly normal to feel like this.. I know it sounds perfectly easy for anyone to say who isnt in your position, but keep at it, and ride upto where you feel nervous, and try to push yourself slowly through it
No one is saying you have to do it right away, only yourself, so pace yourself, when YOU feel ready to go on to the next step then you can do it
You say yourself you'd probably feel fine, so deep down you know she is okay. Id work upto asking her to trot for a few strides if you can. You wont be stuck in walk forever, trust me!
Will she long rein at all?
8th October 2009, 11:19 AM
Having lost my confidence completely I know how you feel and agree with BC. If you can't get any help keep walking and one day you will take your first steps in trot you just need to want to do it. As said do some in hand work long lining, lungeing or just bridlework to reinforce you as the leader and build your confidence. I have rebacked my little mare with help been riding on the lunge and am just out of the walking stage so I know you have to be ready to do it. Big hugs you are not the only one and you are not a failure.
8th October 2009, 11:35 AM
xeana - i wont lunge her - and having me sit on her and someone lunge wont stop her bucking or rearing... and there is noone ther to lunge her for me.
black crow - thanks hun.. im slowly trying to get over it and have asked her to trot and got a few strides but bottle it again :lol:
mobel - yes she long lines, and she goes fab now.
think one of the reasons im hesitant is when i first long lined her she would just rear for 5 mins, the buck, bronc and just totally do anything to avoid doing the correct thing... :mad:
My Crazy Clan
8th October 2009, 12:41 PM
I think we all go through stages like this, just do what you feel you can at the moment, always end on a good note, its ok getting another rider in but what if she doesn't like he/she? I think your best keep doing what you are and do a bit more each time your feel a bit more confident.
8th October 2009, 02:15 PM
Don't worry, I think most of us would have lost confidence if that happened to us!! Take things slow, don't rush yourself too much.
Can you hire an instructor and have a few lessons and just explain your situation?
8th October 2009, 10:34 PM
Try not to get too worked up about it as that is just going to increase your tension. Easier said than done I know but try to stay relaxed. It is always better to do a short amount of good work, than a long time of poor work. If 2 strides of trot is what you are happy doing, then stick with two strides of trot, then increase as you feel ready to :) There is no rush. Confidence is such a hard thing to build up but so so easy to loose. You need to just stay relaxed and do what you are comfortable with.
I agree with the idea of an Instructor. Having someone knowledgable on the ground can really boost the riders confidence so I would look into this if you can.
This made me laugh though;
rear for 5 mins, the buck, bronc and just totally do anything to avoid doing the correct thing
as it sums my Abbey on a bad day up totally :lol:
8th October 2009, 11:26 PM
thanks chunkikiwi. :kiss:
what did i do tonight - got on her, and ggot off within 5 mins...:(
i was a total mess, started crying, i have no idea whats up, i got like this with my old boy for a while, but im not progressing anywere with millie.
due to me being so tense millie is getting hard to stop, she got to a poing where reins were not needed but now im using reins more and more due to me getting worked up....:sad-no:
oh dear.... i feel like im not cut out for riding.... give me a troubled horse on the ground - and i can sort it! put me ON a horse and watch me turn into a gibbering wreck!! :ashamed:
9th October 2009, 11:41 AM
You are were I was with my little mare at the end of July. I didn't want to give up or sell my mare as I fell in love with her when I first saw her. I found a lady through someone on the Kelly Marks webiste and Jenny has helped me get back riding her. I suffered rearing, running backwards or planting. Suns problems were definitely associated with pain and after a Mctimoney lady, equine dentist, exercises and a new saddle we started rebacking her. Last week was the first time she had tried to go backwards since we started but Jenny was there to stop me going in the foetal position or jumping off and tell me what to do. We found she is stiffer on her right rein so its an avoidance thing but I felt so much better having the help. I think as said you just need a little help. Where do you live I'd gladly come and help you.
My Crazy Clan
9th October 2009, 11:56 AM
Keep at it, few months ago you were saying she rears and wouldn't walk on but you! got past that, you are more then capable, its easier said then done I know but your get there, is there anything going on at home etc that could be effecting you? I know when I have been like this its had other things on my mind.
9th October 2009, 04:55 PM
Take a breath!!!! Are you sure that there isn't a pain thing going on with your mare or is it just purely nerves on your part? You sound as though you don't have anybody around who can help you to get through this? The idea of an instructor is a really good idea, although it can feel a bit intimidating when you feel so crappy about riding your own horse. I totally lost my nerve with a huge cob that I had years ago and if it wasn't for my friend riding him for me and proving to me that he could be a good boy, I would have given up riding years ago. If you live near to me, I would gladly come and help you - no problem. It is so important to have support when you are at the stage of being scared about riding your own horse. Your nerves will just make matters worse and your girlie will pick up on that very quickly - do have a horsey friend that could help and support you? Feel free to PM me.
9th October 2009, 11:09 PM
hi, thanks for your replies guys.. xxxxxx
mobell - i live in leeds, bit far away...
mandy - you too are far away....
my mates all are busy and have their own things to do.. or live too far to just nip up. iv found (hopefully) a girl looking for rides near me who will be back home soon, and really likes the sound of millie,, she may be able to show me millie can do things nicely!
i think it really is just my confidence, as she has a treeless saddle and has been checked before by a few vets.
its also due to not been riding for two years - since my old horse died. so im a bit out of practise. i also wasnt as lucky as some of my mates who had the oppertunity to ride other peoples horses when they were kids, and loan them or go to a riding school for regular lessons... i only started riding at 14 then i never had lessons - it was get on that horse and warm it up... helped out at my local RDA.
9th October 2009, 11:13 PM
Shame im not riding right now or id offer as leeds isnt a million miles from us!
10th October 2009, 11:45 AM
aww hun dont give up!! ive i wasnt a chuncky monkey id pop down and ride her for you as im only up the road, i used to work at the RDA in scholes when i was 15!!!
10th October 2009, 05:07 PM
I know exactly what you feel like .....I was like this after I fell off and broke my pelvis on my first attempt at canter. When I eventually got into the saddle again, about a year later, the sheer mention of the word or hint of speed sent me rigid with fear.
So it was either give up or take it very very slowly........I tried the slow option.
I've been a definate happy hacker at mainly walk and occassional trot since I got Belle in January and usually with my husband at my side on his bike...just in case (God knows what I expect him to do if my 16.2 Shire TBX decides to fo for it....he's no Superman Bless him :cheekywink: !! )
But.....10 months down the line I was out the other day.... we were walking down a field and it just felt right to "go for it" .....first into trot and then canter - it felt fantastic, perhaps didn't look elegant and balanced but didn't give a S**T .... I did it, I did it, I did it :lol::lol::lol:
My message....... just take it slowly, in your own time and one day it will just feel right for you and you'll go for it :cheekywink:
10th October 2009, 05:42 PM
As well as taking it slowly and ending on a good point each time you ride, you might find that using an essential oil, or homeopathic remedy for nerves might help you calm down and reduce the transfer your tension to your horse. I've been racking my brains to remember the name of the stuff for nerves - I shall have to google it to find out. (Unless anyone else knows and can help my custard-like brain)
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