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View Full Version : Am looking for a sharer- can I have some constructive Crit on advert please?


loubylou
17th March 2011, 11:48 AM
HM107N2DE

I have had her up for a few days with not so much as a whisper of an enquiry (on a few other sites too) so just wanted some advice on what I have put.

Thanks

x

clippi
17th March 2011, 12:00 PM
She's lovely looking.

You've been very honest. Maybe that is what is putting people off. I'd have been interested, but many people like working in the school especially after work when time is short, maybe you could re-word that bit something along the lines of very responsive, quick off the leg, good against the clock when jumping.

When I tried to part loan out Clip when I was pregnant I was very honest and as a consequence no-one was interested.

Good luck I hope you find someone soon

loubylou
17th March 2011, 12:40 PM
Thanks for your input- does this read better?

15.1hh, 12 year old grey mare for part share.

Uva is looking for a very special person to ride her 2-4 times a week. She is a lovely friendly mare, fantastic temperament and very easy to handle by all the family on the ground. She is a fun forward going ride for a confident rider. Uva loves hacking alone or in company and is sensible in traffic. She will pull up easily in an open field She has a good jump, and will work in the school but is a little rusty after being mainly used for hacking for 18 months.

Uva is very safe and has never been known to buck or rear however, being an ex polo pony Uva is not a novice ride asshe can be very forward going in the school as she is not completely sure what is required from her in this environment. This is made worse by a nervous rider and therefore not appropriate for children, novices or those returning to riding after a long time.

Only for share as I am struggling time wise with her and she is getting bored not being ridden. Uva would most suit someone who wants to hack although Sharers would be welcome to hack, school and jump. She is kept on part livery on a fantastic yard just off the Alkham Valley with wonderful hacking and floodlit school. Sharer would be required to muck out on their days. Price completely negotiable.

clippi
17th March 2011, 12:43 PM
Yes. Much better :) :)

Catg
17th March 2011, 12:51 PM
That sounds much better hun, much more positive and I was going to say state her height.

To be honest though, when I was looking for a horse to share I had no luck what so ever when looking online, no-one was close enough. Even if I found an ad in the same county as me they still seemed to be over an hour away.

I would put your ad in as many local horsey places as possible, equestrian centre notice boards, tack shops, vets, feed stores, local advertising papers and stick a little poster in the back window of your car. Also the showgrounds open soon, see if you can get them to announce if on the micro phone and put posters up on the show ground xx

loubylou
17th March 2011, 12:54 PM
Have updated the writing and changed the pic to get some more interest (hopefully!)

loubylou
17th March 2011, 12:55 PM
That sounds much better hun, much more positive and I was going to say state her height.

To be honest though, when I was looking for a horse to share I had no luck what so ever when looking online, no-one was close enough. Even if I found an ad in the same county as me they still seemed to be over an hour away.

I would put your ad in as many local horsey places as possible, equestrian centre notice boards, tack shops, vets, feed stores, local advertising papers and stick a little poster in the back window of your car. Also the showgrounds open soon, see if you can get them to announce if on the micro phone and put posters up on the show ground xx

Thanks for the advice will get some ads printed and up in the saddlerys locally too :)

Burnie
17th March 2011, 01:02 PM
Would the sharer's day include a weekend day? If so I'd put that in the advert as it makes the share more appealing.

Apart from that I think it's a really well worded and honest ad.

clippi
17th March 2011, 01:36 PM
Oh no you got rid of the first pic. I really liked that picture

loubylou
17th March 2011, 01:38 PM
its still there, think horsemart is having a funny 5 mins as its showing different pics every time I click on my advert! I put the jumping on on to add variety to the pics and its being all odd now haha! wish I had left pics well alone!