View Full Version : Need some support this week guys

19th February 2012, 08:57 PM
Yogi has found a new home and is leaving us Friday.

I don't know what to do :ashamed: I'm crying as I write this, I have never felt so upset I don't think.
This week I have to sort out all his belongings to pack, and I can't even think about him going.

How the heck will I get through this ? I really don't know how I'm going to.

19th February 2012, 09:06 PM
You will - just remind yourself he will love his new home and you have done absolutely the right thing.

Have you thought of getting yourself a little pony - just for in hand work maybe?

Just a thought


19th February 2012, 09:07 PM
I'm so sorry, stay strong :(

He'll do great at his new home and you know it was the right decision. We are all here if you need it, you're very admirable.

19th February 2012, 09:08 PM
And ditto above. If you're not wanting to get yourself into riding why not get a show quality Welsh or something and take it to all the in hand shows.

19th February 2012, 09:16 PM
I just feel like my heart is breaking in two.
I can't think of anything but the thought of him being loaded onto that lorry.
I don't want anything else, I couldn't bear to have to go through this again, ever.

19th February 2012, 09:41 PM
Oh hun, I know what you've gone through has been so hard for you, but you have been so brave and strong so far. You are allowed to be upset and have a good cry, I know nothing would stop me doing so in your shoes.
Make your daughter pack his stuff up with you, that's the least she can do.
Then take some time out to get yourself together and maybe, just maybe you might feel a bit different then.
It upsets me terribly when I lose an animal I love, and most have mine have after they have had a long life with me.
I cannot breed anything as I couldn't part with it, and I cannot sell on either.
I did it once and never again.
You have to think that he will be getting lots of fuss and love and be out doing what he loves to do. Nothing less and nothing more.
You did you best for him, but you knew you couldn't give him that life that he needed so you did the best you could and found him someone who could.
Huge hugs my lovely, we are all here to be that shoulder for you.

Horse Mad Mum
19th February 2012, 09:42 PM
oh Kim I am so sorry , but you have done the right thing for him, and I am sure you will be able to keep intouch , huge hugs HMM XXX

19th February 2012, 09:44 PM
Has he just gone out on loan or have you sold him?
If he has gone to a loan home why not take the time he is away to get yourself some lessons and get good enough that when he comes back you will be able to take him on yourself, that way you can have some more fun out of him yourself

even if he is sold i would still get your self some lessons and perhaps find yourself a nice loan or share pony, or eventually perhaps one of your own

19th February 2012, 09:57 PM
I agree with all CL has said above ^

It does sound a good idea Kim! I do wish you the best of luck though and as the time stands, your are doing the right thing. Big hugs x

19th February 2012, 10:06 PM
My sweet hubby has just said to me if it's gonna break my heart this much to let him go he will help financially for me to keep him and get someone to ride him for me. He said I shouldn't let our daughter near him as she is not interested in him at all.

I wish I could ride him I'm a bit heavy and he's a bit experienced for me. I wonder if I could maybe either put him on 5 day livery, get someone on our yard to excercise him and go from there. I really can't face him going. I love him so much

19th February 2012, 10:09 PM
I have been through it recently Kim it's such an awful sickening feeling. The only way I got through it was because of the distraction of moving away. New area, new house and a new life.

You need a distraction whether than be a horse of your own or some kind of hobby that takes up your time and energy. It's not the same but it does help x

19th February 2012, 10:09 PM
As harsh as this is going to sound - its not meant too - you have to put Yogi first - not your feelings.

Is he going far away? Could you visit and keep in touch?

19th February 2012, 10:10 PM
If he goes it's about 90 mins away

19th February 2012, 10:15 PM
The is a girl on our yard looking for a loan.

She's a nice little rider. But I'm sort of being bullied (coerced) into sending him away by my fellow yard friends as they think it won't be good for me if he's there. But I won't be up at yard if he's on loan will I ?

Wouldn't that work?

19th February 2012, 10:15 PM
get yourself riding then if your that keen to keep him and sad to see him go get yourself some lessons and get on him yourself, im sure your not that heavy for him he is a 16.2 isnt he?

19th February 2012, 10:17 PM
Massive hugs. I've been there too so I know how awful you're feeling right now. I had to lose a sweet little mare because her owner was nuts and it was a case of choosing between her and my sanity. I cried over her for months and I still miss her now but I think back on the good times and can smile about it :).

I know that right now you can't possibly think of getting another horse but I really think somebody with this much love to give is wasted away from horses. I hope that there comes a time when you feel ready to have another horse, one for you this time that you can keep for the rest of his/her life. If you don't like the idea of riding I think getting a pony would be fantastic - they're such characters and you can have lots of fun with them without ever getting on board. There are so many rescue ponies out there desperate for a loving home... Taking on a rescue horse is the most rewarding thing in the world. Just a thought.

Big hugs xxxxx

19th February 2012, 10:19 PM
The is a girl on our yard looking for a loan.

She's a nice little rider. But I'm sort of being bullied (coerced) into sending him away by my fellow yard friends as they think it won't be good for me if he's there. But I won't be up at yard if he's on loan will I ?

Wouldn't that work?

Only just saw this. Go for it! Sounds good :D. I don't see one single reason why it won't be good for you to have him close by:confused::confused:. You have to do what makes you and Yogi happy and this sounds like the perfect opportunity.

19th February 2012, 10:20 PM
Aw Kim this makes me so sad and I wish I could give you a hug! I remember how much you loved Foxy too. It's always seemed a bit like you have double the love, commitment and enjoyment of horses there to make up for your daughter.

Why not be selfish for once and find yourself something like a part loan just for you!? But a horse that is what YOU want to pamper and have fun with. That way you can get your horse fix and learn without all the stresses and strains?

19th February 2012, 10:22 PM
He's 15.2 and quite fine
I'm 13 stone I think I'm too heavy for him
I'm going to contact this girl on our yard who tried him outnon sat and loved him, but I had mademup my mind he should go.

If she's serious about having him I'm gonna keep him on the yard, much to the disapproving comments of others there, it's my heart breaking he's my horse

19th February 2012, 10:28 PM
Kim, that sounds a great idea, ignore what they say at the yard, you'll always get someone with an opinion, if you want to keep him close, keep him close.
He's your horse, and as long as he's looked after properly, it doesn't matter if its not you doing the riding. It wouldn't matter if he was a total pet.

19th February 2012, 10:33 PM
It may not work out yet, but I feel like a black cloud has lifted from my head already. If it doesn't work out then I can't say I didn't try can I ?

20th February 2012, 08:52 AM
I think this other girl sounds like a great idea, I do also like the idea of you getting lessons and if you don't want to ride Yogi, then whilst he is on loan look for a part share or loan of your own that you can give your love to and if and when the time comes to approach the subject of selling him on again it might not hurt *quite* as much.

Horse Mad Mum
20th February 2012, 09:58 AM
THat sounds great KIm, go for it and ignore comments from others !!! Get your self some lessons and perhaps try and lose a litltlw weight (sorry of i am being cheeky) if that makes you feel better but personally I dont think you are too heavy for him!! Or learn some ground work with him, a good bond from the ground helps with ridden work , good luck, and what a lovely hubby you have hugs HMM XX

20th February 2012, 11:42 AM
heres a huge hug xxx defiantly get some riding lessons in i did and it was the best thing i ever done after selling aero i was heart broke but i am in touch with him and and i know it was the right thing to do for him x

its not just the pony i missed it was the social side plus i had to much spare time on my hands good lucck with what ever you do hun xxxx

20th February 2012, 01:24 PM
I know you feel awful, but you will start to feel better when Yogi has gone. I went through it when we sold Bambi-its like giving away a child! Now I know we did the right thing. Liz is right, if you love horses do something about it-there are lots of horses that would carry you and if you get a horse for you, it might motivate you to lose the weight!

20th February 2012, 09:33 PM
After a sleepless night and a chat to hubby again this morning , I have now decided it has to be what's best for Yogi, not me, not Daughter, but Yogi.

So ive decided to go ahead with the loan, but listen to my safety net (will make you guys laugh)

My YO has let me save his stable for 3 months on a reduced fee, ive told the loanee that we will review the situation in 3 months time and if i want him back ill give her 30 days notice and ill have him back !! I'm such a baby ! but i needed something to fall back on and not make it so final.

I also decided to take him to his new home rather than have him picked up. I couldnt bear to see him pull away from our yard, so i thought if i take him, i can settle him into his new stable, off load everything, go and have a good look at his new yard and then i'll be ok. Also i thought ill have a trailer there if i hate it, hes gonna be loaded straight back on and brought home !!!

So the plan is I take him on Saturday. After that i cant think about yet, one day at a time, and thank you all for the kind words, its really helped me. This has all been so traumatic for me. :(

20th February 2012, 10:08 PM
Hey, best of both worlds then.
you'll get it all sorte for the best I'm sure.
We're all here for you whatever you decide on.

21st February 2012, 11:05 AM
A wise move. Now that you have a stable, it's time to fill it with a horse / pony for YOU!

21st February 2012, 12:17 PM
Can you honestly see yourself ever getting the best out of Yogi?

If not then this is a perfect oppertunity to get yourself a little horse of your own - even a little shetland or section A for you to handle and play with.

Its not all about riding!

21st February 2012, 12:46 PM
I know it's hard, but that's going to make it difficult for the loaner to dare to bond with him in that first 3 months in case you want him back just because you miss him :(

21st February 2012, 01:28 PM
Can you honestly see yourself ever getting the best out of Yogi?

I have to say I disagree with this (well..kind of..it's not a statement that I can disagree with...but you get what I mean :))

Horses don't have any kind of ambition. If they're happy, they're happy. Many wouldn't care whether they were flying around Badminton or just pootling around a field and coming in for grooming and cuddles. Although, yes, it is a very expensive form of pet.

I think the situation you have described sounds good. It will give you chance to get used to him not being around and you never technically have to sell him if you don't want to, but the option could be there. However, having been on the loaner end of the bargain, I'm not sure I'd be wanting to help someone out with their horse only to have it taken away 3 months down the line. It's a tough one.

I do, however, agree with chescar in that it might be worth you getting something to mollycoddle that wouldn't necessarily have a ridden career anyway. I can wholly recommend shetlands as the most loveable, adorable and hilarious little pets :)

21st February 2012, 01:42 PM
I can wholly recommend shetlands as the most loveable, adorable and hilarious little pets
as posted by Gem.

Yep, definitely all of those, mine has me laughing at her antics almost every day.
They are also stuborn, willful,opinionated, and escape artists, to name a few. lol
I wouldn't part with my little monster though.

My Crazy Clan
21st February 2012, 02:49 PM
Hes your horse, ignore all the the comments, you do whats best for you & him x

If he does go on loan (away) make sure you do check up on him, or pop in.

21st February 2012, 03:11 PM
no the new loaner may be scared to bond with him, but for once in my life for the first time, im thinking of myself, and its a safety net for me, and if i do want him back in three months and it isnt going to be a bad move for Yogi, he will come back.

I have worried all my life about other people and just for once im putting myself first. im not making any apologies about that either. When you loan something there is always a chance the horse/pony will get taken back

21st February 2012, 08:40 PM
Very true. To be honest that's the risk taken by people who loan. Lord knows I've had it happen to me enough in the past :lol:

21st February 2012, 09:36 PM
I totally agree with your last statement Kim. I have had been on the bad end of a loan and had the horse sold underneath me, although this was upsetting for me (not least because the owner broke the rules of the contract by not giving me enough notice) it IS a risk you take when loaning, and if you want proper security you really need to look into buying.
I think what you've suggested is a good idea for you and Yogi, and all I can say is make sure you make it explicit the amount notice you need to give to terminate the loan within the contract as I would hate for someone to be as heartbroken as I was with my loan when I was 15.

Good luck Kim :)

22nd February 2012, 02:24 PM
please spare a thought for the loaner too..she may be really nice and the best thing for him.....its all ok keeping him as a pet but horses like to have a purpose not just stand in a paddock all day....its such a waste of a horse like this.....such a shame your daughters lost interest....some kids really dont know how lucky they are.....my parents brought me nothing, ever.......just try and let the loaner do whats best, if you feel hes being mistreated then fair enough...but please, i loaned one and the realtionship is so importent.....i ended up being gifted mine....dont go and just snatch him back on a whim.....she will be put off doing it again......it works both ways.....and it may be fantastic.....

22nd February 2012, 09:15 PM
i would never do that.

Ive done this for me really, just as a safety net, and also to protect Yogi too.

I think my bond will break when he's gone or it will get easier for me and as long as she's looking after him, he will stay with her.

I just cant make it too final yet :(

22nd February 2012, 10:41 PM
of course it will be hard.....his welfare is paramount but at least you have the option...or if she doesn't get on he wont be sold on, you can take the responsibility back....not all loans are bad....mine was great and we kept him and took him on with medical issues......etc etc....good luck and try not to worry

24th February 2012, 08:31 PM
Well, last day with our boy today :(((

Ive packed up his hundreds of rugs etc. Daughter rode him tonight and said her goodbyes, she cried so i left her in his stable with him for a while to have some time.

Ive cried this evening too, it hurts me to my stomach. I actually feel like i'm greiving, its that bad.

I'm dreading taking him tomorrow, but it's got to be done. I will be fine in a few days (lost but fine )

But im going to enjoy some time at home next week, and potter a bit :(

25th February 2012, 08:10 PM
Well my boy went today. I took him to his new home. He was excellent in the trailer as usual. When he came out there was a show on at his new yard. He looked quite bemused, had a good nosy around and quite happily walked toward his new stable. Cheeky monkey on the way dragged me over to an area that had those really huge round hay roll thingies. He literally took one look and dragged me in front of everyone to them, stuck his head under a low roof and munched away, i had a heck of a job pulling him away. It was so funny.

He went tinto his stable and there was a big fat hay net for him, to which he just munched his way happily through it, whil i went for a coffee.

Unpacked the car, went back to him to say bye, he was still munching(horses! give em food and they are happy!!)

I went in his stable gave him a big hug and kiss and just left, i was crying my eyes out but i didnt look back, if i had i woulda put his headcollar back on and had him out of there !!

The yard is lovely, the girl who is loaning him will be fine, shes a lovely confident, kind girl. He eill be fine and happy and safe. Im confident now ive seen the yard he will be ok.

Tonight I feel sad but also relieved ive seen where he lives now. But i also feel very empty.

Hard bit is done. Just need to keep busy for next week or so.

Thank you all for your support, its been the worst week of my life. I'm emotionally drained.

25th February 2012, 09:26 PM
awww hunny wait till ya get updates it takes the sting out trust me xxxx

Horse Mad Mum
25th February 2012, 11:24 PM
big hugs Kim at least you have been and checked things out for your self that should give you some peace of mind, keep us updated on how you and yogi are HMM XX

25th February 2012, 11:32 PM
:( Once you have started to feel a little bit better why not consider finding yourself a part-loan / share? But a horse that suits what you want. That way you get your horsey fix and I'm sure most people would kill to have a sharer like you who would treat their horses like royalty and give them loads of love and attention x

26th February 2012, 09:38 PM
Daughter is sharing a lovely 16.2 warmblood, i could ride him if i wanted to. But im really not too sure i want to actually ride, i just love the caring side of it. She shares him on a sunday and a weds after school, which is exactly what she wanted to do. Today i spent time with him and mucked out, Daughter groomed him tacked him up and had a lesson on him. It was chilled and rather nice. Its also taking my mind off of Yogi a little bit.

I think when the initial shock of Yogi going has eased a bit i want to enjoy some free time for myself, and get straight at home again (re cleaning and gardening).

But i know in my heart of hearts i cant be without horses in my life, so after a break i will reconsider what and how i want this to work.

I just need to heal a bit for now. :)

27th February 2012, 07:28 AM
Well don't disappear! Glad he has settled well, but keep us updated on how you are and where you are with horses.


27th February 2012, 06:17 PM
Glad you feel better. Must admitt when you said 'I'm doing what I want and putting myself first for once' I was like YAY Kim! Nicely put. What ever you decide will not do any bad on Yogi. Whether he goes to this girl for good or whether he comes back and someone rides him for you. All the best. X

1st March 2012, 07:27 PM
A little update on our boy....

He's been gone almost a week now !! the girl who has loaned him loves him a lot and texts me everyday to tell me what he's been doing, she's a real sweetheart.

I did tell her a few days ago dont feel you have to text me, but just let me know when he does something good or funny.

She said hes been turned out with another gelding and is happy , and comes trotting up to her when its time to come in !! im hoping thats not because hes bored and more that she probably has a snack for him !

Her brother has two horses and he does the turning out all week as shes at school, she says he doesnt like her brother much , which i laughed at, but then almost had a panic attack thinking maybe he hit him or something, he's never nervous around anyone :( but he hasnt had any contact with men, maybe he doesnt like them !!

Apart from that she said hes a good boy and loves riding him, and is giving him lots of kisses and cuddles which pleases me.

I'm a little more settled about it all tis week, but still finding it tough , and am at a bit of a loss not going to the yard every day. It's weird.