Loss Of Confidence

[StarOfLife]

Seeing as many people on here seem to be experienced horse people =] I'd like a little help.
Resently, I've taken 2 falls in one lesson, about ten minutes apart, and I got a right shock from it. Now, I'm not blaming the horse at all, seeing as one of my friends on the yard told me, he had an ill fitting saddle [by the way...he's not mine...it's a riding school horse]. So after two falls, my instructor told me, perhaps its best if I used another horse, so I did. However, I was rather nervous while doing so. And I haven't ridden since then.
And now when I think about riding, I'm not really sure, but I really don't wanna give up, the thing that I love the most.

Has anyone else really lost their confidence before and regain it?

So has anyone got any ideas on how to regain confidence when riding?

Thanks
Xox

[chescar]

Sorry to hear you feel like this.

I lost my confidence a year ago when my horse bolted and i came off breaking my thumb.

I really did not want to get back on but my trainer told me to read a poem called
'risks'

basically if you don't take risks you will never achieve anything - i wanted to ride - i had to take the risk, bite the bullet, put it behind me and push myself. Will find the poem for you. x

[chescar]

Here you go...

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,

To weep is to risk being called sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self.

To place your ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naive.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair, To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.

Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited his freedom.

Only the person who risks is truly free."

[CityLights]

there is not secret to doing it at all just take small steps and get back in the saddle go back to a horse you really trust and feel comfortable on and then slowly build back up to other horses, its just a case of getting back out there and beliving in yourself and doing it

once you initially get over the worry about getting on the horse after a little while you will relax and start to enjoy it

Twice in one lesson is nothing though i fell of one of my ponies ten times in a row in about half an hour once! little *******, he was just naughty

[CDR]

It's tough hun, happens to us all!! A body protector gives me a bit of extra confidence when I need it and going back to basics not jumping/cantering etc, just walking and trotting.

[black crow]

Did you get back on after you fell?
What is it your thinking, when you know your having a lack of confidence moment in the saddle? Is it fear of falling again, injury etc?

Big hugs! Ive never lost my confidence big style, but i have taught people who have. Determination is a big part of being able to ride again, but you've always got to give yourself credit for any improvement, no matter how small it is.
Set yourself little goals, and work to them. It's far too easy to think "Gods sake, i want to be cantering and jumping right now" if someone is only comfortable in walk.

I'd talk to your instructor about this, say about how your feeling hesitant but dont want to give up - a good instructor will help you gain your confidence back. This wont be over the space of a lesson or two [if you want your confidence to stay in tact that is!] lot's of working together should really help you get to where you want to be. If you dont feel you are gaining much trust from a particular instructor, always consider moving elsewhere. Sometimes a different face, place and horse may just do the trick.

Good luck!

[eeek]

I was a nervous rider as a child and lost my nerve briefly a few years ago but now I am an extremely confident rider. I think it happens to most people at some point in their riding careers so don't worry.

[mermer]

I lost my confidence big time when a horse bolted with me. Just take it small steps at a time, it will come back to you but it does take a little time. I always start taking Elm Bach Flower Remedy (12 drops a day), takes a little while to build up in your system before it works. May be a load of gobble-de-gook but it works for me! Good luck.

[StarOfLife]

Thanks everyone =] Love the poem =]

Unfortuanly, I can't ride this week as i'm kinda ill and my parents are being weird, lol.
But next week i'm planning on riding the nicest horse on the yard =D

[StarOfLife]

Black Crow- Yeah, I got straight back on, just rather nervously =] And I think its more the fear of falling again, as when he bucked he threw back his ears, so I think that will also freak me out when I get back on again, the knowing that when they throw their ears back, i'm going to fall off =[ Hopefully I won't have the pleasure of falling off for a long time yet =P *fingers crossed* =]

[black crow]

Keep thinking that way!

Although dont be too worried if their ears go back, usually it is a sign they are listening to you and will respond. Keep going, you already sound a little more positive!

xx

[mastermax]

Hi, this may be of no help to you but I lost my confidence so badly about 10 years ago and even now still have huge bouts of "I cant do this". I had an accident whilst riding out a newly backed TB in training. I broke my ribs, knee and ankle. I was living in Ireland at the time and I really missed the NHS at this point!!!. I was so scared and terrified of ever getting back on a horse. I think it was the car that rounded the corner as I was lying in the road that played on my mind not so much the horse falling if you can understand that. "What if" and all that. I have had years of horses since that I thought I could still ride but when it came down to it I COULDNT. I have a stunning chestnut show cob now that is fantastic for me to ride but still challenges my confidence fears. So, this week, I have gone back to basics and loaned the most beautiful, little confidence giving cob from a lovely lady off this forum. From the minute I got on him...... I trusted him. Basically what I am trying to say is, keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone but also know your limitations. I have finally admitted to myself that my days of sleek firery TB's have gone. To continue doing what is my lifes passion is to admit to myself "who" I am and not what I think other people see me as.
I have MS and suffer from balance issues, pain and cramps but this little man is going to help me and together we are going to enjoy life and have so much fun.
Good luck to you, I really, really hope your confidence comes back to you.
Take Care
x

[ness]

Good advice from the others. (great poem, Jo!)
I agree with just taking it all back a step and just walk if you want to (I started off again by leading my horse in hand when I lost my confidence after a few falls last winter, I was a bg of nerves, but I am back to galloping with confidence again!) There is nothing wrong with fitting a balance strap on the front of your saddle or asking to go on the lead rein for a bit until you get your confidence back. If you really want to ride-you will do it!

[mastermax]

I completely agree with Ness re the balance strap. I invested in an RS-Tor from Libbys. It fits on the stirrup bars and does not incumber your riding but gives you just a little more security "if" they spook, unbalance you or you generally feel a bit insecure. I have found this an amazing gadget even though OH fell around laughing at first!!!! Alright for him with his "perfect seat" or so he thinks.
x

[piccolo]

I think it would be worth while spending some time with the horse (or any horse) on the ground firstly. Most horses want to please and working near them on the ground will hopefully help you become more confident around them and trust in them. :)

Tell your instructer that you are still nervous as she shouldhelp.

Trying a lunge lesson would be useful. It gave me bags of confidence and improved my seat and general riding.
Agree with the body protector thing, it's a good idea for you to use one:).

Good luck, it just takes time!:cheekywink:

[Mobell]

I lost my confidence big style three years ago. I couldn't even sit on a horse but it wasn't the horses that caused it either but life so it doesn't follow that you fall off or have a frightening experience with horses sometimes its just whats going on in your life that attacks your confidence.

If you lose your confidence for whatever reason or it gets dented you have to find where you feel safe for a while and then push the comfort zone boundaries but without stretching them too far. Talk to your instructor tell them how you feel so you can find a horse that you feel safe riding but who you can push the boundaries with. Getting some lunge lessons on a schoolmaster is an excellent way of improving your balance and your seat so when the unexpected happens you are more likely to stay in the saddle.