So frustrated with myself!

[The Little Magician]

I am a nervous rider, I do get told that I under estimate my abilities, but still I am very nervous.

For 4-5 years of owning Littleman, I have made every excuse possible to avoid riding out on the roads on my own, he can be a complete **** on the road, spinning, rearing and even hedge climbing. :devil:
So going out on my own has never been something i have looked forward to, but this last winter when my hacking buddy moved to pastures new, I bit the bullet and went off on my own, and actually after having a few mis haps, he is quite well behaved now out on our own.:D

My frustrating problem this year now is, schooling him in the school when every one else has gone home. This never really used to bother me, as long as someone was around for the first 10 -15 mins, I would have settled him and all would be fine.
But for some reason this winter I have just lost my confidence in the school, whilst being on my own. Last night I really wanted to ride Littleman, but every one had gone home except one person, so I thought I would ride Magic instead, as he is normally laid back.
But because I was apprehensive about being on my own soon, he was a complete idiot in the school, snorting and spinning. I know he was feeling my bad vibes, and that is what I am soooooooooo frustrated about, I just dont know what to do to get my confidence back. :miffed::crying:

Any helpful advice would be appreciated. I am just a worry head.:ashamed:

[Mungo Madness]

I would take it slow. There's no need to rush yourself, that will just make things worse. I would start slowly, just go in walk and have a pootle about for a while, then come out again. Then gradually increase the time and go trotting and eventually cantering and jumping and then before you know it, you'll wonder why you were ever nervous in the first place!

But what triggered it off do you know?

[The Little Magician]

I am just a worry head, I worry about everything.:scared:

I worry that if I have an accident when I am down there on my own, no one will find me till the morning.:rolleyes:

I suppose it has got worse because I had nerly 3 months off riding as we were trying to sort my saddle out(big insurance problems!), and just before that because my saddle was causing him discomfort, he played up alot.

He is silly, because he will spook (pee off across the school without warning) ie when the small pony was in the feild next to the school at letter c, then when they sold the pony, because he wasnt there any more I couldnt get him up the c end of the school because the pony was gone. I am sure he thinks it had been eaten by the hedge monster near m.

I mean 4 years we have been at this yard, and I am still have troubles getting him to go around the school.:frown:

[Maria1986]

I also worry about working in the school on my own, along with slipping over in the dark, and being kicked in the stable and nobody being there to find me! I call a friend or my partner when I am tacked up and ready to go and let them know how long I am planning to ride for. I then call them after to let them know I'm finished. I also call when I'm on my way home.

[Mobell]

I think you need to find an instructor to have some lessons with purely on your confidence issue. I lost my confidence about two years ago through a life situation and it affected everything I did in my life but worst of all I couldn't even sit on my two horses. I got back in the saddle which is a long story but was still having problems with my little mare so I looked for someone to help me and found Jenny a Centred Riding Instructor. With Jenny's help I am riding my little mare and my confidence is growing. I don't know whether I will ever be the rider I was but can only hope to be.

[Roan Mare]

I think most of us go through confidence wobbles from time to time, it's not easy is it? x

There's some good advice on here already, I won't repeat it for the sake of it but I wondered if you've read the Kelly Marks book, Perfect Confidence?

I bought it when I had a crisis of confidence a year or so ago and thought it was great. It made lots of sense and worked a treat. I am no longer a nervous rider and would highly recommend it :)

[ness]

I was very nervous of going in the school with kissie at first, because I know she will spin, spook etc if she is nervous and in a new place.
It may sound daft, but I started by just leading her around in hand around the school a couple of times, then getting on and walking around. I kept the sessions really short (like five minutes and have buit it up to 20-30 minutes now. kissi is always spooky when i first get on , but soon calms down when we start working. Good luck!

ps ooh, and lots of praise and pats of course (but you know that!)

[Catg]

I think you are right to be aware that you're on your own and horses will be horses sometimes.

Maria's routine of keeping someone informed of your plans while you're on your own is a good one and will help you to ralex knowing someone is aware of what you're doing and what time to expect another call. If they don't hear they can call you and if they can't get through can pop down and see if you're alright.

I take those things for granted as there's always someone at my yard so I tell them where I'm going and how long I'm going to be out of habit. We don't have a school though so I can't do anything in the evenings apart from groom :(

[The Little Magician]

I also worry about working in the school on my own, along with slipping over in the dark, and being kicked in the stable and nobody being there to find me! I call a friend or my partner when I am tacked up and ready to go and let them know how long I am planning to ride for. I then call them after to let them know I'm finished. I also call when I'm on my way home.

I used to do this with my friend, but she has moved away and other people have children or commitments, I feel awkward. Unfortunately my partner works nights, so he is asleep in the afternoons and evenings. Gonna have to put my thinking cap on, to who I could possibly call, cuz at the end of the day, just knowing that someone is knowing and waiting for me to reply will help ease me being so anxious.
Thanks, its makes me feel abit beter knowing there are people out thee who are as much of a worry pants as me:lol:

[The Little Magician]

I think you need to find an instructor to have some lessons with purely on your confidence issue. I lost my confidence about two years ago through a life situation and it affected everything I did in my life but worst of all I couldn't even sit on my two horses. I got back in the saddle which is a long story but was still having problems with my little mare so I looked for someone to help me and found Jenny a Centred Riding Instructor. With Jenny's help I am riding my little mare and my confidence is growing. I don't know whether I will ever be the rider I was but can only hope to be.

I used to be a very confident person, not just in my ridding, when I had an accident (nothing to do with horses) where I had a head injury, I had to learn to walk and talk again, after 3 months they thought it wouldnt get any better, still couldnt stand unaided! But after 9 months I was almost back to normal. Alot of hard work.
I decided then that I wanted to buy my own horse instead of breaking and training other peoples horses, when I bought mine, (Holly the nutty mare) I soon realised that all my confidence in my abilities with horses and loads of other things in life had just gone.
I think I would benifit from finding a Centred Riding Instructor, gonna ask around to see if any one can recommend one in my area. Thanks thats a good idea.:cheekywink:

[The Little Magician]

I think most of us go through confidence wobbles from time to time, it's not easy is it? x

There's some good advice on here already, I won't repeat it for the sake of it but I wondered if you've read the Kelly Marks book, Perfect Confidence?

I bought it when I had a crisis of confidence a year or so ago and thought it was great. It made lots of sense and worked a treat. I am no longer a nervous rider and would highly recommend it :)

I have a book by Kelly Marks 'Perfect Partners' that one is good, I must read it again and look out for the one you have suggested too.

[north-mcqueen]

I used to be like that when I was younger.
The horse I rode was a bit of a nightmare on hacks, and I loved her so I continued riding her but it DID knock my confidence.
I found that several months riding different horeses, particularly very quiet ones at first, got alot of my confidence back :)

[The Little Magician]

I was very nervous of going in the school with kissie at first, because I know she will spin, spook etc if she is nervous and in a new place.
It may sound daft, but I started by just leading her around in hand around the school a couple of times, then getting on and walking around. I kept the sessions really short (like five minutes and have buit it up to 20-30 minutes now. kissi is always spooky when i first get on , but soon calms down when we start working. Good luck!

ps ooh, and lots of praise and pats of course (but you know that!)

Thanks Ness for your support, but I have already tried this, we have been at this yard for 4 years plus, and the school is next to a hedge with a public footpath on the other side, so we get people walking their dogs up there, and at the other end is a small hedge that he can just about see over if he sticks his head up, and the other at the yard put up electric fencing loose so it flaps in the wind, (and they wont take it down or sort it out, grouchy people they are:miffed:). Every time I get his confidence in me he briefly spooks at something, I tell him its ok, he goes ok then and goes on, to be confronted with a rouge bunny with a hand granade, and then he freaks pees off with me and says 'I aint trusting you again':rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
I feel like this:banghead: :lol:

[rozbug]

Its hard I know, I only really have lanes to hack on and find myself being soooo careful, and not riding at certain times because of the school bus, sunday- lunchers, workers pm traffic, school run and so it goes on. So I just force myself, take a deep breath and go and before you know it most of the concerns have disappeared as you take in the scenery. Good luck!( Still avoid all the dodgy times though!)

[monty]

Hi ....The Little Magician You hav been given a lot of addvice...... and I also think that you need 2 tell someone were you r and what time you will be home......... want about talking to the yard owner ??? Also I would lunger her in the school in the area that she is uncomfortable with.. walk her round but you have to be the boss.. when she is going round on both rains at walk n trot put side rains, or contact straps on and keep lunging you must be strong and at all times hav a lung whip coz you will need to giv her a crack up the bac side.... when you feel thats she is tired than get on .... Or keep doing the lunging and side rains for a few days ... than get on..... people dont belive in gagets but side rains, contact straps they all do the same job it will stop her gettin off the bite as you wont hav a deep seat or be strong enough in your legs to push her into her bite and by doing this she wont spin round or take off ...and your better doin that than someone getting on and sawing at her mouth...... I dont belive in side rains/contact straps for backing and breakin young ponys/horses as I belive in letting them get ther blance and them coming on to the bite with your seat ... hope this is of some use and good luck xx

[zoes87]

You've been given some really good advice here but i can't recommend getting a good instructor highly enough! I have had really bad confidence issues with Monts in the past (not to the extent you have) but getting lessons really helped!